"Tracy took advantage of my white guilt, which is supposed to be used only for good, like over-tipping and supporting Barack Obama."
"I just want to go home and watch that show about midgets and eat a block of cheese. "
"Hi, my name is Liz Lemon and I received flowers from your shop tonight, and I can't tell who they're from... No, no, I did read the card, but it's not signed... No, I'm not with so many men that it's impossible for me to guess... Well, that is just... Oh, well, you know what? I found the card, actually, and they're from your mom, so tell your gay mom I said thanks."
"Why do you sound so surprised? I love America. Just because I think gay dudes should be allowed to adopt kids and we should all have hybrid cars doesn't mean I don't love America."
"Hello, I'm sorry, may I speak to Floyd, please?...Oh, he's in the shower...I am conducting a survey for the Ranford Group, and, uh, how old are you?...And your weight?...And when was the last time you had intercourse?...Who is this? Who are you? I'm your worst nightmare, is who I is."
"Of course, I call the movie Risky Business 'Risky It', because 'it' means business... [pause] Lemon out."
"You can't be gay for one person. Unless you're a lady. And you meet Ellen. "
"You better get me another sandwich by today or I'll cut you face up so bad you'll have a chin! You'll all have chins! "
"I don't think its fair for me to be a juror, because I can read people's thoughts. "
Images from lore_85, Tina-Fey.Org and Mind Grapes